Growth is not easy. Most people often fight or resist the therapy process at times. Even though they want to heal, it is difficult to make the commitment during the difficult points of therapy. While there are no quick fixes, there are some things you can do to help the process:
- Journaling: Many people have tried journaling at times in their life, however; few maintain the practice across time. While journaling is almost always a good practice, it can be particularly helpful to journal while in therapy and about the therapy experience. There is no set way to journal, so try to find the way that fits you the best. You may try to be creative by including poetry, short stories, or other creative expressions in your journal.
- Keep Track of Your Dreams: It doesn't take long walking through the a book store these days to learn that people are fascinated with dreams and what they mean. While most dream workbooks provide interesting and fun guides to dream symbols, they are often misleading. Dreams are highly complex and individual experiences. Despite their complexity, they can greatly facilitate the therapy process at times. Journaling about your dreams and sharing them with your therapist is one way you can make the most of your therapy experience.
- Be Honest with Your Therapist: It is very natural to have a wide array of complex and confusing feelings about therapy and your therapist. It is normal to feel distant, hurt, and even angry at times during the therapy process. Often these feelings don't seem to make sense. However, they are still important. Your therapist can help you make sense of these confusing thoughts and emotions.
I am generally skeptical about the many volumes of self-help books which fill the shelves of most bookstores. These books often promise grand results through oversimplified versions of understanding people, their relationships, and their problems. A good rule of thumb is not to trust any book which promises results that seems too good to be true -- they generally are! It's also good to be skeptical about any book which offers "proven" or "guaranteed results" and books which can classify everyone in to a few simple categories of people. We are complex creatures. This means that growth and healing are also complex processes that take time. In general, it is a good idea to always talk with your therapist or a professional before giving too much trust to a self-help book. Then still read it with caution.
There are a few books which don't oversimplify the process that often can be helpful to people going through the process of therapy. These books may also be helpful if you are thinking about giving therapy a try, but want to know more of what to expect first. Here are my recommendations:
- Love's Executioner: & Other Tales of Psychotherapy by Irvin Yalom (1990, HarperCollins)
- Momma and the Meaning of Life: Tales of Psychotherapy by Irvin Yalom (2000, Perennial)
- Every Day Gets a Bit Closer: A Twice-Told Therapy by Irvin Yalom & Ginny Elkin (1990, Basic Books)
- Lying on the Couch: A Novel by Irvin Yalom (1997, Perennial)
- The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck (1980, Simon & Schuster)
Here are some links to other interesting perspectives on how to use therapy:
- What Should I Say? Tips for Clients in Therapy? by Dr. Ryan Howes
- The Depth Psychotherapy Network Consumer Homepage
- The Therapy Information Network